The Professional Alternatives to "I'm Sorry."

I was in a pitch meeting a few weeks ago. The purpose of the session was to evaluate a service provider at an organization in which I’m an investor. The service provider in question was proposing three distinct types of services with a focus on one particularly high-value/high-cost service. The session was incredible; one of the best I’ve been to in years. Within minutes, we knew we had found a business partner. However, I noticed when the presenter started diving into details, there was the repeated emergence of the phrase, “I’m sorry.” In this context, that phrase was bizarre. Why? Because she was crushing the presentation and pitch like none of us had ever seen. The numbers came alive. We could see the past, present, and future in ways we had never thought possible. Additionally, she gave us two things that were complete game-changers for us that we hadn’t even thought of (think: “Oh, I didn’t know you could do that or that was even possible” sort of stuff).

Let's start with the mental preparation for this pitch. If you're invited to pitch your products or services, that means you've already done something right. If you have an audience of engaged and attentive folks who showed up to your pitch, mentally, you need to remove even the concept of "I'm sorry" from your vernacular. You're the star of the show! The audience is here to see YOU! It's your time to shine and deliver.

The presenter in the above scenario apologized for two categories of what I’ll call "imposition." The first category of imposition was detail, and the second category was time. Meaning, the presenter said "I'm sorry" for providing too much detail and again apologized for the meeting running long. That was a mistake.

Rather than saying “I’m sorry,” let’s cover some better, more powerful phrases to use in each of the scenarios.

With respect to details, here are some phrases that can work: 

• “Ok. How are we doing here?” Is everyone following? Is this what you wanted and expected?

• “Is this too much detail for this part of the presentation?” 

• “Do we want to hover over any of this and talk about it, or should I move on?” 

• “Is this data what you expected either from me or your business? Based on what I’m presenting, what are your thoughts?”

These questions work because they actively solicit input from the audience. In and of itself, that’s a good idea. Specific to this situation, it gives the presenter a sense of where she is with respect to details and specificity. The answers to these basic questions will provide the presenter with the next steps. “Do I speed up? Do I slow down? Have I over-rotated? Have I gone down a rabbit hole?” Additionally, why would she NOT want to see if we want to dig in more? Or perhaps she’s hitting it out of the park; wouldn’t she want the boost of confidence in knowing that all of her hard work is paying off right now?

With respect to timing, there are a few ways to position the threat of running out of time. But first, let’s take a pause here and note that running short on time in this situation was caused by this session being so good that we, the prospect, took way more time than anticipated. Running out of time due to poor planning and execution is inexcusable and not what I’m talking about. 

Here’s my advice with respect to timing. As you’re actively checking in with your audience, you’re noticing that you’re not going to get everything covered in the allotted time. Try this: 

“Ok, I can 100% go long here, but I want to check in with all of you. Who can run longer here, and who needs to go at our scheduled time?” Then, perhaps, “We can cover this in another follow-up session, or we can continue here. It’s really up to you. I’ve allotted for a fair amount of time as I knew what you’d be seeing would get you engaged and really thinking!” (Note: For this presenter to have a “hard stop” would have been a deal breaker. Luckily, she was an absolute pro and knew she would double the time of our session and planned accordingly).

Why do I like some of these phrases? First, you’re checking in with the audience (which I covered in another post, years ago). Second, you’re telling them that you’re equipped to support them now, and potentially in the future when they’re a client, by being prepared. You’re prepared with your content, and you’re prepared with your schedule. Finally, you’re telling them that you anticipated this. You anticipated or at least were prepared for this because you’re great at your job!

Two more power phrases I like in this scenario: 

• “You folks are really great, and this went way better than I expected, and I expected this to go well! As such, we’re really pushing on time. I’ll clearly need to allow for more collaboration time with this team in the future! You folks are really great.”

And the antithesis of “I’m sorry:” 

• “There’s a lot here. I know. But frankly, I’m good at what I do and I want to make sure you understand the level of professionalism and excellence you’re going to get from me and my team when you partner with my firm.”

The key here is not to apologize. Yes, maybe you can tighten up your agenda. Maybe you can improve the meeting flow. Perhaps. However, apologizing puts you on the back foot for no reason other than you provided value that was completely unexpected by the prospect. Don’t apologize for being great. Don’t apologize for exceeding expectations!